life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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