don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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