dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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