Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
