Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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