fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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