she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
