some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize