id be glad to
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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