Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
