Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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