what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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