we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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