bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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