why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i just google imaged poop.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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