I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
