Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
