Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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