i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
