$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
