Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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