But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
