Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize