please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
