your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
We don't watch enough power rangers
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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