he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
