Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
