How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Randomize