Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
