Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
