So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
