Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
