I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
