I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
