Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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