I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
