I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
