what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
