Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
