Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
