we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
