all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
