His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
