one might say we're banned from that church
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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