It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
