I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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