Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
