So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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