She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
