Who wears a wallet chain?!
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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