sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
