And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
