I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
