We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
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