Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
