btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I think my fart just growled at me.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
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