The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
