But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Randomize
