her vagine was all disorganized.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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