New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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