well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
The Olympian is in my bed
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
